


hold your breath

by peona



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, Fainting, Fever, Fluff and Angst, Hospitals, M/M, Sick Character, Sickfic, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-14
Updated: 2020-01-14
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:47:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22248889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peona/pseuds/peona
Summary: When Hyunjin wakes up one morning, he finally understands why he's felt so off for the past week. His nose is congested, his throat hurts, and he’s got an awful cough. Putting it together with the headaches that have been plaguing him and Hyunjin realizes that he’s sick.Hyunjin doesn’t have the luxury of being sick though. Stray Kids are beyond busy, and Hyunjin is not one to mess their schedule up. He’s never missed a practice or performance for anything other than a schedule conflict, and he’s not about to start now.
Relationships: Bang Chan & Hwang Hyunjin, Hwang Hyunjin & Everyone, Hwang Hyunjin & Kim Seungmin, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Felix, Hwang Hyunjin & Lee Minho | Lee Know, Hwang Hyunjin & Seo Changbin, Hwang Hyunjin & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Hwang Hyunjin/Everyone
Comments: 4
Kudos: 273





	hold your breath

**Author's Note:**

> hyunjin sick + fainting for anon! aparrently i can't write small anymore, so this request is being posted as a separate story instead of as a chapter of "on your mind". kudo's and comments are always appreciated, and im still accepting requests over on "on your mind".

Hyunjin’s head is pounding. He’s had a persistent headache for days, throbbing behind his eyes. Medicine barely takes the pain away, and it does nothing to help him sleep. The constant pain has caused him to lie awake at night, and only serves to make his headache worse. 

Hyunjin groans, rubbing at his temples as he sits up in bed. His hands fall uselessly to his sides, and he sits upright, staring at nothing. Eventually he pushes himself off the bed, his feet carrying him to the bathroom. 

His head aches more with each step he takes, but Hyunjin ignores it as best he can. He brushes his teeth at a snail's pace, not feeling energized to go any faster. Once he’s done in the bathroom, he walks back to his bed where he has a bottle of medicine sitting. He swallows the pain pills down with his water, and prays for them to kick in quickly.

Finally he makes his way to the kitchen where the other members are, and he settles down into a chair at the table rather clumsily. A bowl is placed down in front of him, and when Hyunjin looks at it he realizes it’s full with his favorite cereal. He looks behind him, and sees Seungmin looking at him. Hyunjin thanks him quietly, but the other boy brushes it off as nothing.

By the time he’s finished his cereal, the pain medicine has finally kicked in. He can function fully now, and he takes his own bowl to the sink. Just as he’s turning around to head back to his shared room, he’s stopped by a hand on his arm. Hyunjin’s gaze follows the hand, up the arm, and to the face of Chan. The leader looks concerned, a slight frown on his face as he looks at the younger. Hyunjin shifts his eyes away from Chan’s, feeling some sort of guilt seeping into him at Chan’s gaze. 

“Hyunjinnie. Are you feeling okay?” Chan asks. Hyunjin can’t help but feel more sorry for worrying the elder, and he rushes to reassure him. 

“I’m fine Channie hyung! Just a small headache was bothering me, but I took some medicine and I feel better! Don’t worry about me,” Hyunjin sends Chan a bright smile, hoping it helps convince the other of his sincerity. 

Chan still looks wary, but he lets go of Hyunjin’s arm regardless. A quiet ‘hmm’ leaves the leader’s mouth, but he doesn’t say anything else. Hyunjin takes that as his cue to head to his room like before, and walks away. 

Hyunjin notices Chan watching him harder throughout the rest of the day, and so he puts extra effort into appearing okay. Even when the medicine finally wears off and the pain comes back full force he pushes through it. The result of forcing himself past his energy, however, is the bone deep exhaustion he feels now. 

It’s only eight in the evening, but Hyunjin is ready for bed. He’s tired, his restless sleep and the short practice they had earlier wearing on his body. He hasn’t eaten dinner, but he doesn’t feel up to it anyway. Settling further into his bed, the covers pulled up to his chin, Hyunjin finally falls asleep. 

  
  


****

A few days later is when Hyunjin finally understands. He wakes up that morning and his nose is congested, his throat hurts, and he’s got an awful cough. Putting it together with the headaches that have been plaguing him and Hyunjin realizes that he’s sick. He feels stupid to have not seen it before, the way he was feeling a whole week prior to waking up with these symptoms seeming so obvious now. 

Hyunjin doesn’t have the luxury of being sick though. Stray Kids are beyond busy, and Hyunjin is not one to mess their schedule up. He’s never missed a practice or performance for anything other than a schedule conflict, and he’s not about to start now. They have their performance at KBS Gayo Daejeon in a few days, and Hyunjin refuses to miss that. Besides, he only has a minor cold, he sees no reason to worry about it. 

Of course he can’t sneak it past the members, the sound of his voice and the way he has to keep wiping his nose evidence enough. 

“Hyung, are you sure you can go to practice? You look and sound awful,” Jeongin says worriedly. Hyunjin can’t help but coo at the younger, finding his concern sweet. 

“I’m positive Jeonginnie. I’m not even that sick, it’s really not a big deal,” he tells him. Jeongin lets a relieved smile cross his face, and Hyunjin returns the smile. 

****

Practice is intense as they put the finishing touches on Miroh. Stray Kids are performing on KBS Gayo Daejeon and they’ve remixed the choreography and song for it. They all learned the new version of Miroh quickly, and today’s practice is the last one before the actual performance. Hyunjin focuses on fine tuning his moves, and by the time it’s over he’s almost satisfied. He could be better, but there’s still the rehearsal tomorrow, and he can practice in the waiting room too. 

Their manager finally calls the practice a quit, and Hyunjin notices something off with himself. He’s far more out of breath than normal after dancing, and he can feel himself want to freak out. He pushes the feeling down low, after all he is sick. He has a cold, and it’s completely normal to be out of breath when you have one. _(Maybe he shouldn’t be wheezing, but he’s not sure.)_ He also exerted himself greatly during the practice, and with that thought Hyunjin feels better again. 

Exiting the building, Hyunjin feels the need to cough tickling his throat. He can tell that if he gives in it’ll just send him into a coughing fit, and he’s not too keen on that right now. He quickly pops a cough drop in his mouth, and it saves him from the fit. He sucks on the candied medicine in the car, and on the whole drive back to the dorm. Being healthy again seems like a distant dream, and Hyunjin can’t wait to achieve it.

He feels his nose running, and he digs through his bag until he finds his tissues. He pulls the packet out, but is disappointed to see there’s only one left. He sighs, but uses the tissue anyway, vowing to refill his bag back at the dorm. Hyunjin wipes his nose clean, grimacing at the now dirty tissue in his hand. He holds it there for a moment, not sure what to do with it since he’s still in the car. 

“How about you shove it back into the pack,” a suggestion comes from the right of him. Jisung is looking back and forth between Hyunjin and his tissue, and _oh_. That’s not a bad idea. He shoves the dirty tissue into the empty plastic, and puts it back into his bag for the meantime. 

“Thanks,” he tells Jisung.

“Yeah, no problem dummy,” Jisung laughs. Hyunjin pulls a face at him, only resulting in making Jisung laugh more. 

The car pulls up at the dorm then, and they all rush out. Hyunjin watches the others run for the door, but chooses to walk instead. He doesn’t want to trigger another coughing fit, he suppressed enough of those when he was dancing. He makes it inside quickly though, and lets out a happy hum at the warmth of the dorm. It’s winter now, and Hyunjin hates the cold more than anything. It doesn’t help that Hyunjin has been cold all day, shivering even with layers upon layers on. 

“Hyunjin, wanna watch a movie with us?” Comes Felix’s voice when Hyunjin enters the living room. Hyunjin wants to, but he mostly doesn’t feel up to it. He’s still cold, he still can’t breathe comfortably, and he just wants to lay in his bed while listening to music. 

“No thanks Lix. I’m going to just lay in my bed.” 

“You can _just lay_ on the couch you know,” Seungmin comments. Hyunjin rolls his eyes, and regrets it a little when it causes a sharp pain. 

“Yeah I could, but I’ll really be no fun. I’ll watch a movie with you guys next time,” he promises his friends.

“Good night Hyunjinnie,” Jisung says to him from his position in Felix’s lap. 

“Good night guys,” and Hyunjin goes to his room. 

Hyunjin doesn’t bother changing out of his clothes, even though he’s sweaty and gross. He just doesn’t have the energy for anything except lying down and sleeping, so when he finally does get to be in his bed, it feels like a gift. 

Once under the blankets, he feels hot. It’s annoying, his body temperature constantly changing. Hyunjin doesn’t understand it, but he throws the covers off anyway. He shuts his eyes tightly, and wills sleep to come to him. 

Of course it’s not that easy. Hyunjin is sure he spends two or more hours changing position. Then add on that he keeps going from being too hot to being too cold, he doesn’t get to sleep quickly at all. Eventually though, his brain gets too tired, not even able to form actual thoughts at this point, and shuts his body down. 

****

Everything comes to a head the next day. 

Hyunjin feels worse than he has since falling ill, and he knows he looks it too. His headache had returned with a vengeance, and he’s sweating profusely in his stage clothes. His face looks abnormally pale, and Hyunjin can barely bring himself to smile. However, he ignores all the warning signs that there’s something wrong, and pushes on with the schedule. 

It’s Christmas Day, and Hyunjin would never let his members or his fans down. He could be on his deathbed, and Hyunjin would still do all he could to perform for Stay. 

He’s going over the choreography again, mumbling his rap under his breath. His moves need to be sharper, stronger, _better._ He needs to do this better. But he’s slow, lagging more than he wants to. Exhaustion is hitting him, and Hyunjin wishes more than anything for it to go away.

He stops dancing for a moment, and chugs a water bottle down, the cool liquid feeling good to his feverish body. He’s just about to start practicing again, but someone moves into his space before he can. 

It’s Chan standing before him, and the leader looks strict. There’s a firm look in his eyes, as if he’s determined to do something that Hyunjin wouldn’t like. Hyunjin tenses as they stare each other down, because he knows what Chan wants to say. He prays the words never leave the others mouth, but it’s a futile wish when the other begins to talk right away. 

“Hyunjin I hate to say it, but you look like shit. We all know you’ve been sick, but I could tell how much you want to be with the group. I gave you the benefit of the doubt, and let you carry on pushing yourself. I thought maybe you would be better in time for today, but Jinnie, you’re only getting worse,” Chan says what’s on his mind with love and concern. 

Normally, Hyunjin would love the worry their leader has for him, but today all it does is spark anxiety. He won’t let Chan make him sit out, he _can’t_ be backstage while everyone else is out there. He won’t be a disappointment, and he won’t ruin Stray Kids’ hard work. 

“Chan hyung, I understand your concern, but I’m okay. In fact I’m better than I was all week! I’m so ready to get out there and put on a show for Stay, please,” he begs, his eyes feeling teary. Chan’s eyes scream pity, and Hyunjin deflates. This feels like a battle lost. 

“I know for a fact you are not better. It’s all over your face. Now, I don’t want this as much as you do, but I think you should sit this one out. Take a rest for today, and maybe you’ll be fine to perform at the next Gayo.” 

“No!” He rejects immediately, desperation filling his tone. 

“No, hyung I swear I can do this. Let me— let me at least do the rehearsal. If I’m not okay during that, then I’ll willingly sit out. But just give me a chance to prove to you that I can do this,” it’s his last defense, and Hyunjin prays Chan agrees. 

His prayers are answered when the leader hesitantly nods his head, and Hyunjin throws himself into Chan’s arms. 

“Thank you! Thank you so much!” Chan pats him on the back comfortingly, and Hyunjin pulls away with a grin on his face. Chan shoves a hand immediately on his forehead, and frowns at what he feels. 

“Have you taken medicine recently?” He asks. Hyunjin blinks at him, confused on why he’s being questioned. 

“Yeah. I took it two hours ago. Why?”

“You’re burning up. Are you sure you don’t have a fever?” 

“You worry too much hyung. Now go! Relax before it’s our turn to rehearse,” Hyunjin shoos him away, and then he’s alone again. 

Shortly after his talk with Chan, Stray Kids are called for their rehearsal slot. They make it through one round of the song, and Hyunjin is feeling excited. He knows by now he’s proved to Chan he can do this, and soon they’ll be finished. He’ll get to do the live stage, and everything will be perfect. 

Except on the second run through of Miroh, something changes. Hyunjin goes from feeling good to feeling horrible. Like he needs to kneel over and puke right away. The nausea is accompanied by dizziness, and Hyunjin doesn’t even know if he’s still moving. 

Besides the dizziness of his head, his limbs feel heavy. Hyunjin can’t bring himself to even lift his arms. His dance moves are slowing down, but that’s okay, because is he even dancing the right part anymore? The stage becomes a blur, and Hyunjin stumbles a little in his spot. 

His stumble has him knocking into Jisung in front of him. The other trips forward a little, but gets back into formation quickly. Hyunjin gets back to his own spot, and manages to somehow do the moves. 

His center part is coming up, and Hyunjin _knows_ this. However, when the time comes Hyunjin doesn’t move. He can’t move, everything is spinning, his head is _killing him_ and he can’t see. The staff in front of him, his members on the side, the colors of the stage lights. All of it is fading at the edges. And suddenly, without Hyunjin even realizing, everything goes black. 

And he falls. 

****

Hyunjin wakes up to a coughing fit. His chest is burning as he wheezes, and he wishes he wasn’t waking up— wait. Waking up? Why was he sleeping? Hyunjin opens his eyes slowly, the light blinding him and making him close them immediately. It still doesn’t make sense why he was asleep, the last thing he remembers is rehearsing Miroh. What happened? 

“Hyunjin? Are you awake?” That’s Changbin’s voice. Okay, at least whatever happened his members are here. He tries to answer, but he can barely talk, his throat dry and scratchy. Someone is shushing him, telling him not to speak. 

“It’s okay, you don’t have to answer verbally. Here,” Suddenly, Changbin is pulling Hyunjin’s hand into his own and holding it lightly. 

“Two squeezes for positives, one for negatives. You understand?” Hyunjin gives his hand two squeezes, his silent form of _yes, I understand._

“Okay. I’m assuming you want to know what happened and where you are?” Hyunjin’s eyes are open now, and he is looking at Changbin when he squeezes his hand.

Two times. _Yes, tell me._

“We were rehearsing Miroh, you were in position when all of a sudden you stumbled. Bumped right into Jisung. Somehow you got back up from that but then, you stopped dancing altogether. We were calling out to you across the stage, saying your name, anything. Trying to get your attention,” Changbin breaks off here, taking a moment to collect himself.

“You were just standing there, and you were so pale. Paler than you’ve been all day. And then, Hyunjin— it was so scary. Your eyes rolled back, and you started _falling,”_ His breath hitches. Changbin starts again. 

“You were already out by the time you hit the ground. You bumped your head a bit but thankfully it wasn’t too bad. You landed in a heap at Jisung’s feet, and he pulled you into his lap until the medics arrived. They rushed you to the hospital and started running all sorts of tests on you…” Changbin trails off.

Hyunjin feels guilty for putting his members through all of that. If it was him watching one of the others faint suddenly, Hyunjin knows he would’ve cried. He looks around the room for the others, but they’re not around, and Changbin must be able to see his confusion because he explains right away. 

“They’re in the waiting room. Chan and Minho are… calming the younger ones down,” Changbin tries to word it gently but Hyunjin understands. He’s scared his members, made them worry about him to the point of having to leave the room. The guilt grows stronger in him, and he needs to see them now. Reassure them that he’ll be okay, even if he’s not right now. 

“Can— can you bring them back?” Hyunjin forces past his throat, and Changbin’s eyes widen. He pushes himself up from his chair quickly, letting go of Hyunjin’s hand as he does. 

“Yeah, I’ll go tell them you’re awake. Drink some water while I’m gone,” he shoves a cup of water at Hyunjin, and once the boy grabs it he’s running out of the room. 

Hyunjin isn’t left alone for long before the door is busting open and his members are flooding the room. All seven of them crowd around his bed, staring at him in silence. The one who breaks the silence first turns out to be Jeongin, as he launches himself to hug Hyunjin. 

“Hyung! I’m so happy you’re awake! That was the scariest moment of my life! What’s wrong with you, huh?! How could you do that?!” Jeongin is rambling, getting his fears and worry out by talking. Hyunjin pets his hair and lets the younger keep hugging him, until he’s satisfied and stops talking. He keeps holding Hyunjin though, which is fine with the older as he holds Jeongin close. 

The door opens again, and Hyunjin catches sight of the doctor walking in. He has a clipboard with what Hyunjin assumes to be the results of the tests Changbin told him about, and nerves settle in his stomach. 

“Hello Mr. Hwang, it’s good to see you’re conscious now. While you were unconscious, we ran some tests,” the doctor pauses to make sure Hyunjin is following. He nods his head slightly, and the doctor continues. 

“The cause of your fainting was a high fever and bodily exhaustion. Now, the exhaustion is a result of you performing while your body was already in a weakened state. As for the fever, we’ve diagnosed you with bronchitis, which is an inflammation of the bronchial tubes. Bronchitis usually follows a regular cold.” Hyunjin is speechless when the doctor finishes, he didn’t realize he was this sick. 

“I suggest you take some time to rest. For any aches, pains, and fever I recommend over the counter medicine. For your cough, cough syrup or drops should be fine. You’ll be discharged today, and can go home to recover,” the doctor leaves once Hyunjin says he understands, and the room is silent once again. 

“I didn’t think it was that serious...” Hyunjin murmurs to himself. His words seem to set Seungmin off, because he starts lecturing immediately. 

“You’re an idiot! You nearly worked yourself to death! When you’re sick you need to watch out for your body, not push it harder! I hope you’ve learned your lesson from this Hwang Hyunjin! You’re bedridden for at least a week now. I’ll make sure you do nothing but lie down,” Seungmin finishes his rant with a glare, and Hyunjin drops his head. 

“I’m sorry. I guess I wasn’t thinking. I knew I was sick, but I didn’t want to disappoint you guys or the fans. I wanted to perform, like I thought I was supposed to, despite how I was feeling. I won’t let this happen again,” He finishes. He starts coughing after, covering his mouth to not spread his germs. He’s short of breath when he’s finally done coughing, and _god_ who knew that could be so exhausting? 

“Alright, let’s save the rest of this for home okay? Hyunjin, you can apologize all you want, and Seungmin you can lecture all you want. But before that let’s get out of here,” Chan says. Minho silently rushes all the members out of his room, while Chan stays back to wait with Hyunjin for his discharge papers. 

They leave once they get the papers, instructions on how Hyunjin should recover printed on them. Hyunjin finds Felix and Minho still in the waiting room, and Felix clings to him on the way out to the car. Hyunjin leans against Felix’s side as the younger links their arms, and they walk behind the two eldest members. 

“Please take care of yourself better, I hated seeing you like that. Pale and unconscious..” Felix shudders. Some tears fall down his cheeks, and it’s the most heartbreaking thing Hyunjin has seen. 

“I will Lix, I will,” he assures. He vows to himself to never make his friends feel this way again. And most importantly he vows to never make Felix cry again, the sight being far too painful. Hyunjin will watch his health if it means he never has to hurt the ones he loves again, and he means it. 

**** 

“Sit down!” Seungmin shrieks. Hyunjin groans, finishing the process of getting up. He turns to where Seungmin stands. The boy looks beyond annoyed with Hyunjin, when really it should be him that is annoyed! 

“Seungmin, I’m just going to the bathroom. I _have_ to get up for that,” he explains. Seungmin looks unimpressed, but Hyunjin can see that he’s not going to stop him now.

He goes to the bathroom and back as quickly as he can, knowing if he takes more than five minutes, the other will get upset again. He appreciates Seungmin’s concern, but it also can be very overwhelming. 

Once he’s situated back on the couch, head propped by multiple pillows, Hyunjin relaxes. His members have been all over him since the hospital, and he can’t decide if he hates it or is enjoying it more. 

“Hyunjin, drink,” comes Minho’s voice. A water bottle is suddenly thrust into his face, and Hyunjin snatches it. He drinks the water down, grimacing slightly as he knows he’ll be going to the bathroom soon again. 

“Hyung why did you make me drink that. I just got back from the bathroom,” he whines. Minho sits down next to him on the couch, an arm thrown around Hyunjin’s shoulders. 

“You need to stay hydrated. It’s one of the best things to help you get better,” he explains thoughtfully. Hyunjin’s heart feels warm at how much the other is looking out for him, and how he does it all unasked. He knows his members love him, but he always feels special when they care for him like this. 

He sniffs, and fully intends to pass it off as his runny nose, but Minho clearly sees through that. 

“Ah! Don’t get emotional on me.” 

“I can’t help it. I’m sick and vulnerable, and you’re caring and kind. This was bound to happen,” Hyunjin says, swiping at his eyes. Minho laughs, squeezing himself closer to Hyunjin. 

“You’re such a sap Hwang Hyunjin.” 

“Hyunjin!!!!” A shout interrupts their moment, and they both turn their heads to the entry of the kitchen. 

Standing there, with a wet washcloth and medicine in both hands, is Changbin. He rushes at them, and slaps the washcloth down onto Hyunjin’s head. 

“Changbin hyung…” He groans, “what are you doing?” 

“Trying to keep your fever down!” 

“But I don’t have a fever...”

“Exactly! And I’m trying to keep it that way!” Exasperated, Hyunjin can’t do anything except keep the damp cloth against his face. He turns his gaze to the pills still in Changbin’s hands, and it’s like Changbin only remembers them then. 

“Ah! Channie hyung said it’s time to take medicine again and asked me to bring it to you.” 

“Thank you hyung, but I don’t need it now,” Hyunjin responds. Changbin gives him a skeptical look, but sets the medicine on the coffee table in front of him anyway. 

“Well… take it when you need it then,” he says, before walking away to do who knows what else. 

As they tend to do since Hyunjin’s accident, when one member leaves another one enters. 

This time it’s Jisung, walking through the living room with a purpose. His purpose seems to be to push Minho away from Hyunjin, and replacing his position cuddling the other. Minho looks pissed from where Jisung pushed him to the other end of the couch, and the older voices out his frustration. 

“Why did you just fucking push me?” 

“Because it’s my turn to cuddle Hyunjin, and you were in the way!” Jisung explains like it should be obvious why he pushed Minho, and it makes Hyunjin laugh. Jisung beams at him, clearly proud that he made Hyunjin laugh. Though, that pride disappears quickly when his laughing turns into coughing. Jisung panics, patting Hyunjin’s back firmly like one would a choking baby. 

Hyunjin eventually settles down, and Jisung relaxes in relief. He turns sad, watery eyes to Hyunjin before throwing his arms around his neck and sobbing. 

“D-don’t hide it when you’re sick. I-I was so scared and worried when you fell. You-you bumped into me and I didn’t know why. Then you fell, and I managed to b-block your head just before it could smack into the ground,” Jisung says it all through his sobs, and Hyunjin rests his own teary face in the other’s shoulder. 

“If you keep crying Sungie you’ll make me cry too,” he says, but it just makes Jisung cry harder. They stop crying eventually, and when they pull away, they start making fun of each other’s puffy faces. 

Jisung and Minho both leave a little while later, but Hyunjin is still not alone. Chan keeps checking on him every few minutes, and Jeongin plus Felix are attached to his side. A movie is playing on the TV and Jeongin appears like he’s halfway asleep. Hyunjin doesn’t plan on sleeping much himself, since it’s all he does during the day. Once the youngest is really asleep, Hyunjin let’s Felix turn the TV over to video games. 

He, Chan, and Felix spend the rest of the night like that, playing game after game and just having fun. Hyunjin can’t wait to be healthy and working again soon, but just for a little longer he wishes to stay like this. With his best friends showering him with their love, and taking care of him in the best ways they know. He soaks it in for a while longer, and sends his thanks to whoever decided Hyunjin would be blessed with such amazing people in his life.


End file.
